Hello and welcome to the Ol' Big Bear Blog! This is one of a series of blogs where I will attempt to convey the inspiration and background of each of the 12 songs on my album Iowa Weather. I hope you enjoy and are somewhat entertained.
I enjoy having a few drinks and have had more than a few on more than a few occasions. But, like many of my fellow 40 somethings, I've learned how to keep it under control over the years. Being in control doesn't necessarily make for a good song though does it?! Well, it's the truth (for the most part) and I suppose the alternative would be a bit sad not to mention unhealthy for me and my wife and kids. This song was written a couple of years before the family showed up.
I never really saw myself having a drinking problem. It's not like I was ever a morning drinker or ever lost a job. And I didn't lose any friends by being a drunken ass (that I remember) ;-) There WERE those times when the wall was holding me up during gigs... and I WAS known to fall off of the stage from time to time. Never missed a note though. (Okay, maybe I could have used a 12 step program!) I even had a few nights where after the show I was bellied up to the bar whooping it up with new friends while my bandmates hauled the gear back to the van. LAME. I had never been THAT guy before! I blame it on playing too much bass... I had become all the bass players that I had ever known! Still some of the best dudes ever. (I get it now!). I think it all came to a head when my bandmate at the time had to have a couple of sit down sessions with me. Thanks, man. That forced me to look at things and set some parameters.
My general rule of thumb these days is a drink per set. I guess I don't get out much these days other than playing shows. This last weekend I played both Friday and Saturday night and stuck with the program. Easy Peasy. Sure, I may double up during a set or two but I usually play 3 sets and never more than 4. If you do the math I could have maybe 6 drinks tops in a night. Wait, sometimes there's a warm up round before I start playing... so maybe 8 at the most. Spread that out over 5-6 hours and 250 pounds of fella and you have someone who is loose, not drunk. It did take me a while to find that fine balance though.
So, back to the raging alcoholic that I have been in denial about for 20 years. Back to the guy who read "No One Here Gets Out Alive" one too many times. I'm kidding! It was just youth and the feeling of invincibility and all that crap, right? During this period (late 20’s/early 30’s, circa 1998-2004) I had half way given up what I wanted for my life and just kind of floated for a while. I don’t think I even knew what I wanted. I was in projects that weren't fulfilling and relationships that were purposefully going nowhere. I remember telling people that my new way of life was to just say "YES!" to everything. It took the guesswork out of it all. I let others make life decisions for me because I didn’t trust myself to make the right ones. I had failed in the past, why wouldn’t I fail in the future? I knew this was faulty thinking but it wasn’t all bad. I always had great friends and we had some really good times. I had also never written as many songs as I did during these tumultuous years.
That brings me back to track 2 of my album Iowa Weather. When I sat down to write “I’m Gonna Drink” I really just wanted to say “You know, I just can’t get this life thing right and I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of ‘going for it’. I’m just gonna drink and forget all about that crap”. I was obsessed with Merle Haggard records from the 1960’s when I wrote this song too. In hindsight that probably didn't help the drinking! So good though. I listened to so much Merle that I was having dreams about being at BBQ’s with him and his family. Now that’s some good eats folks!
So there ya have it. My drinking song and a little bit of my drinking story. Thanks for letting me drag you threw that and stay tuned for my next blog, Track 3 - Iowa Weather, where I will get back to the family again.
I'm Gonna Drink
by Dan Trilk
I woke up from a dream
Of a parallel existence
That was twenty times better than my own
So I spent the entire day
Trying to figure out a way
To pull some pretty colors from this gray
And through this simple test
I learned about momentum
And I’m quickly going where I’m going to
And now there’s no stopping
This aging man from rocking
And I know exactly what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna drink
I’m gonna stink
I’m gonna pass out in the garden of eden
I’m gonna laugh
I’m gonna cry
I’m gonna beat around this burning bush I’m needing
And now there’s no stopping
This aging man from rocking
And I know exactly what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna drink
I’m gonna stink
I’m gonna pass out in the garden of eden
I’m gonna laugh
I’m gonna cry
I’m gonna beat around this burning bush I’m needing”
